I don't know anyone like me. You might not either. I've been a nerd my whole life. And I don't mean a pimple-faced, glasses-wearing teenager stereotype (although that was one phase of my junior high existence). I mean, I genuinely love math. And science. And analyzing raw data to draw meaningful conclusions from it. This love propelled me into engineering in college, although I'm not sure I wanted to be an engineer. To be honest, I did it because it sounded like the hardest major at my chosen college. I knew I could do it, and I wanted the challenge! It just seemed like the most natural extension of the things I loved.
But then life happened. And before I knew it...WHAT???
I was a mom. A stay-at-home mom. And I was facing (I'm still facing) the hugest identity crisis of my young life. How in the world do you take years of reading sci-fi, solving differential equations, and tutoring physics labs, and turn those experiences into something patient, nurturing, and maternal? How do you go from studying with the guys in the lab to mingling with the ladies at playgroup?
This is me. This is where I am. I started out my mothering experience as possibly the least-natural mother in the world. But I am finding over and over that my natural inclinations and experiences are giving me a unique outlook on this whole mom-thing.
I mean, seriously, how many ladies at my MOPs group listened to the lady talking about car-seat safety with visions of vectors and equations in their heads?
Ha! I feel your pain! I went to college, got a degree, started a landscape design firm, then started a farm, had (and have) big plans to travel and do graduate work in botany and contribute in an academic way to my field... but then I realized that I'm really really really interested in having babies right this very minute (which I'm working on), even if it means not doing all those other things. Totally confusing! Fortunately I can get some professional satisfaction even if the farm I'm running only feeds us. And I know that I can still do graduate work, travel, and do research but I had to figure out what it meant that all the things which previously defined me were no longer as essential to my personality as I thought. Add to that the fact that, as you mention, gals who love scifi, science, and empirical reasoning seem to be few and far between and it can get a little lonely.
ReplyDeleteSo don't worry, you're not alone :-)
I'm so glad you dropped by, and relieved that someone else feels the same way! Becoming a mom was a big change, wasn't it? Thank you so much for your encouraging words!
ReplyDeleteWell, I haven't become a mom yet but I'm trying to get pregnant right now. It was definitely a change going from normal person to craving babies though! I can't wait to see how I change when they arrive :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, that's so exciting! It's a huge adventure, and very rewarding! Best of luck to you as you work on growing your family!
ReplyDelete